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Most parents would agree that becoming a mum or dad is the most incredible experience you’ll ever have. But in those early days, it can also be a bit overwhelming: it’s 3am, you’re sat on the sofa with an 8lb baby asleep on your chest, a cold dinner on the arm of the chair and a phone full of tabs titled “is this normal?”
Your brain is whirring: am I doing this right? Are they eating enough? When will I sleep again? So, we asked Blue Light Card members what they wish someone had told them before their baby arrived. The answers were honest, funny and occasionally a bit emotional.
Here’s the best advice for new parents we heard, plus a few practical bits on keeping costs manageable along the way. Browse our children and baby offers to see how you can save.
Sleep was top of the list for lots of members in the newborn advice they shared, which can’t come as a surprise where babies are concerned. One kept cropping up: the age-old advice to sleep when the baby sleeps. Pam, who works for the Red Cross, learned early on that you don’t have to do it all:
“With my first child, I wish I could tell myself that I don’t have to prove I’m superhuman and can still manage everything I did before while looking after a tiny human being! It’s not important that the housework is done every week. The best tip I gave myself was to sleep when she did – other stuff can wait!”
On the other hand, Veronica, who works for the NHS, takes a different view:
“Do your household chores while they sleep. Don’t creep around trying not to make any noise, babies get used to the noises of everyday life.”
That’s one vote for resting and one for hoovering. The best solution? Do whichever your brain can cope with best. Whichever camp you land in, it helps to know that sleep doesn’t stay broken forever. Iain, who works in social care, shares the best piece of advice he was given as a new dad:
“Babies don’t sleep, and then one day they do. Until then, take turns with your partner, say yes to offers of help or naps and don’t compare your baby’s sleep to anyone else’s, because they’re all running their own schedule.”
If you’d like a little help building a bedtime routine, baby sound machines are worth checking at Boots or JoJo Maman Bébé. Have a look at what you could save with your Blue Light Card.
Accepting help came up again and again, and so did protecting your own space. Both take practice, especially if you’re new to parenting.
Lorraine, who works in education, says it’s worth saying yes, however small the offer:
Rachael, a charity support worker, knew when to say no, and recommends the same to every expectant parent:
“Family were desperate to come round and visit on my first day home, but I sent out a message to all saying that I just want my first day by myself and that they could come round from the next day. It’s so overwhelming that first time home with your baby, you just need some time.”
Petrina, who works in the prison service, has plenty of practice as an aunt. These are the tips she’s shared with her siblings, who’ve found them rather useful:
Share the load: take turns with night feeds, childcare and household chores.
Plan shifts together: use a shared calendar to coordinate work, sleep and childcare.
Prep ahead: prepare meals, bottles and bags the night before to ease busy mornings.
Accept help: let family and friends help with meals, errands or babysitting.
Protect your rest: sleep when you can and take turns getting uninterrupted rest.
Lower your expectations: focus on what matters most – the housework can wait.
Be kind to yourself: not every day will go to plan, and that’s okay. You’re learning together.
It also helps to have an answer ready when people ask what they can do. A meal for the freezer, an hour of washing up, a trip to the supermarket to stock up on food or a voucher for when you know what you actually need. They all beat a 16th soft toy and 70th babygrow.
Baby shopping lists are long, and members’ baby tips were blunt about how little of it gets used. Becky, who works in social care, has a practical shortlist for the days when cooking feels like a stretch, and a warning about overbuying:
“For expectant parents, I’d say stock up on healthy snacks and batch cook as much as possible, because you won’t feel like cooking once baby arrives. Also, have two fully stocked changing stations – one upstairs and one downstairs – as you will need them! Finally, don’t go mad and buy everything baby-related, as so much doesn’t get used and they grow out of things so quickly.”
One thing that did earn its place, according to Pam, was the baby monitor:
“I couldn’t live without the baby monitor. It was valuable and also cute when you heard them make wee noises or gurgles.”
Where it’s worth taking your time is the big safety stuff. For a car seat or pushchair, it’s worth checking what you could save at Maxi Cosi and Bugaboo with your Blue Light Card.
For the everyday bits, supermarkets are a great shout, and you can save through our Shopping Cards. Everything else can wait. You’ll be given more than you expect, and you’ll know much better what you need once baby is here.
A baby changes your outgoings in ways a spreadsheet can’t always predict. We love them, but they can be expensive. A few budgeting tips for families that are easy to start before the baby arrives:
Time matters as much as money, too. Audrey, who works in education, says:
“If you can afford to, take time away from work. You don’t get the time back.”
That isn’t an option for everyone, which is why checking your entitlements early is worth the effort.
Baby advice comes from everywhere: relatives, strangers in the supermarket, the internet at 3am. Simon, who works for the police, says there’s no such thing as an expert manual for the job:
“Life is a roller coaster – you’ve just got to ride it. Nobody can give you an expert view on bringing up children. The first one is a shock that nobody can prepare you for. It’s the biggest learning curve you’ll ever experience but just go with it.”
And Jennifer, from the NHS, has a reassuring one for the tougher days:
“Even when you feel like you’re doing it all wrong, you’re doing your best!”
For all the practical tips, a lot of the advice to new parents boiled down to something simple: slow down if you can. Robyn, from social care, says:
“Enjoy every minute, go with the flow. Time goes by so fast... enjoy the cuddles and the chaos and the mess because once they leave and it gets quiet, you miss the noise and the mess.”
Tracy, who works for the police, has a tip and a regret she’d like you to avoid:
“Enjoy every second with them. They no longer need you, far too soon. I was always distracted by housework, and my biggest regret was not leaving it and playing more. What’s done is done. They have both turned out good!”
Iain has a gentle reminder for the sleepless nights:
We’ll leave the last word to Terry, from the fire service, whose daughter was born at 27 weeks and is now 21:
“After waiting 22 years and being told I’d never be a dad, my wife and I finally had our daughter. We finally had the baby of our dreams, and she’s now 21 and all is well. So, I say to anyone: keep the faith, and when your little miracle happens, just know that every second on this planet is a gift. I know that we in the emergency services already understand this, but I certainly don’t take anything for granted.”
A Blue Light Card won’t make the nappies stop (we wish), but it can take a bit off the things you’ll be buying anyway. Anna, from social care, put it simply:
“Blue Light Card can help with costs, so keep an eye out.”
And Jennifer suggests:
“Use it for essentials and also to treat yourself now and again!”
A few more places worth checking before you buy:
Fewer things than you might initially believe. The basics are a safe place for the baby to sleep, a suitable car seat if you own one, feeding and changing supplies, a few outfits in a couple of sizes and a few toys. Check current NHS and Lullaby Trust guidance on safe sleep before you buy bedding.
Accept help, rest when you can and trust your gut – those came up time and again when we asked members. It’s also worth buying less than you think you need and checking what you’re entitled to before baby arrives. Every baby is different, so take what suits you and leave the rest.
Yes. Blue Light Card has offers on baby and children’s products, from nursery gear and prams to kids’ clothing and toys. It’s worth checking the app or our website to see what’s available before you buy anything. At an expensive time of life, every penny counts.
